It is important to think of pregnancy as a process, not a condition… pregnancy changes you and your life on a deep level. – Arin Murphy-Hiscock

I am aware of exactly one book available for purchase right now specifically on the topic of Paganism and pregnancy.  Arin Murphy-Hiscock wrote Pagan Pregnancy: A Spiritual Journey from Maiden to Mother years ago, and the book was finally released as an ebook just a few months ago. 

As soon as I saw the news I enthusiastically set to work getting the publisher to send me a copy so I could review it here for you all.

The book focuses on pregnancy, but also covers conception, birth, and the postpartum period, offering both wisdom and practical advice for the Pagan mama-to-be.  If you like ritual/magical “recipe books” this is a great book for you, filled with detailed instructions on how to use tools such as herbs, candles, and stones in rituals for various pregnancy needs.  Pagan Pregnancy is generic in its Pagan affiliation, offering Murphy-Hiscock’s own ritual style and information about particular Goddesses from various pantheons without requiring affiliation with any particular tradition.

It’s definitely woman- and Goddess-focused material.  She writes, “Childbirth, like other women’s mysteries, allows a connection to be made between the laboring woman and all her female ancestors, as well as her ultimate ancestor and mother, the Goddess.” I especially appreciate Murphy-Hiscock’s extended discussion of how the triple goddess is limiting as a model for real human women.

However, her discussion of “Responsible Spirituality” seems to me to be less thoroughly worked out.  She wants to warn against exposure to dangerous ritual energies during pregnancy, but is also aware that a lot of what she says about this is speculation more than real knowledge.  I worry that a culture of over-protection for pregnant women can lead to unnecessary removal of women from ritual spaces.  Thinking this important issue through more fully is work that I think still needs to be done (hint to possible Pagan Families contributors).

Similarly, her discussion of natural childbirth and pain seems to me to not be fully worked out — in this case I suspect because she is trying to be inclusive and inoffensive.  I will have more to say about these topics in a forthcoming publication TBA.

Murphy-Hiscock writes, “You can read books on pregnancy till the cows come home, but until you begin going through the pregnancy itself, you can’t internalize the information.”  My experience tells me this is real wisdom.  But she also says, “It is my deep hope that this book has somehow helped you throughout your pregnancy, ” and as Pagan mama who read this book while pregnant, I can say that her hope has been fulfilled.

Have you read it yet?  Was it helpful to you?

Arin Murphy-Hiscock. Pagan Pregnancy: A Spiritual Journey from Maiden to Mother. Avon, Mass.: Provenance Press, 2011.

* Doulas draw from Jewish tradition as birth helpers. “Doulas support women informationally, physically and emotionally — we can also add ‘spiritually’ to that list.”

* An Intimate Pagan Mother Blessing. “At 36 weeks pregnant with my husband and my first baby I really wanted to connect with our future son in a way that was both meaningful, personal, and spiritual.”

* Why it’s time for us to reclaim “values”. “I know that many of you who identify as radical doulas bring a sense of spirituality to your work, and I want us to claim that.”

* Ask Me Anything: Pagan “Baptism”. “After all, what is baptism (looking at it through pagan eyes) if not a blessing by water?”

We come to realize that spirituality, politics, and women’s status are all intimately connected to the environment we create for pregnancy, birth, and motherhood, and that, in reclaiming our strength and wisdom, we can make this world a healthier place in which to live, birth, and raise children.

– Aviva Jill Romm in The Natural Pregnancy Book (152)

Have you read anything recently that relates to Paganism and the childbearing year?  Please share your own links and quotes in the comments.

Up until now no money has exchanged hands over the creation of Pagan Families.  The closest thing has been that two of us have received free copies of books to review.  Everything from the web design to the posts you read to the banner image to the social media promotion has all been donated as a labor of love.

But we do review and make reference to a lot of books here and I wanted to make it easy for you to buy the ones that intrigue you. If any money comes in from the store it will all go back into developing the site. I’d love to be able to offer contributors compensation for their work, which could even help Pagan Families to bring in posts from a greater diversity of writers, many of whom simply cannot afford to write just for the love.

As always, feedback on the new store or any other aspect of Pagan Families is welcome in the comments.  It’s all of you who make Pagan Families the resource that it is.

What is your name?
Ben Hoshour

What kind of work do you do with pregnancy, birth, or the postpartum period?
I am a Labor and Delivery RN in the United States Navy. I work with laboring mothers in a hospital setting, primarily in the active phase of labor, but also in triage during pregnancy as well.

In what ways does Paganism affect your work?
As a Pagan, I see pregnancy and birth as a rite of passage, it is a miracle and the product of the ultimate act of creation – the union of those divine energies contained within us that give birth (literally) to new life. By nature of being a military officer, I work in a hospital setting, in which it is often difficult (but not impossible) to create a sacred space that honors this rite of passage. Within the constraints of my position and the legalities in place, I do my best to make this experience sacred for women of ALL traditions, not just Pagan since pregnancy and birth is a universal phenomenon. Many times I do this by simply “holding space.” By this I mean that I set an intention to make this experience meaningful as defined by each individual woman and family. I have not yet had the opportunity to care for a “Pagan” family, but this process is sacred across all traditions. I silently invoke Frigga during the birthing process. She is the Norse Mother Goddess associated with childbirth, with families and mothering, and the home. I have a statue of her in my home in which she is depicted holding her infant son – Baldur. I advocate for “natural” childbirth as often as I can as and I attempt to empower women and families to make those choices that honor the experience they would like to have. My Paganism makes this more than a job, it makes it a passion and a privilege and I always pray to Frigga for a sacred experience in which all are united in the web that binds us – a web of love.

How can we honor what is sacred in childbearing?
I think that, first and foremost, we must recognize that what is sacred will differ amongst mothers and families and this needs to be honored. My own opinion is to treat pregnancy and birth as a rite of passage, as free of medical intervention as is safe and possible. I would advocate for home births, for planning a birth in sacred space, and with clear intentions to make this process one of joy. Childbirth is almost always painful, although orgasmic (or ecstatic) childbirth is a documented fact as well. Pain can be transformative and the very process of experiencing that within a sacred space and with sacred intent goes a long way towards transforming pain into purpose, and ultimately, joy. Sing to your baby, cry out at the imminent arrival of that most precious and sacred thing.

If you could tell Pagans one thing about pregnancy or birth, what would it be?
Pregnancy is a sacred rite of passage – a miracle of creation that we, as human being imbued with divine essence, take part in. Treat it as such and you will have a transformative, unique, and unforgettable experience that will change you forever.

Find Ben Houshour on the web at:
benhoshour@gmail.com
www.the-pagan-perspective.com

Food is at the heart of so many rituals.  Probably your tradition already has food rituals such as sumble or cakes and ale.  You can also design rituals around nourishing your pregnant body and your new baby.  Here are some ideas:

1. A simple meal blessing before you eat encourages a sense of gratitude and awareness of your food.  Yes! magazine has an inspiring collection of mealtime prayers from around the world.

2. Selina Rifkin suggests that pregnancy “is a great time to connect with ancestors if you have not already done so. Find out what they ate and see if you can make some of that. Give it as an offering – either by offering it to the Earth or eating it yourself – and ask for protection for the baby.”

3. If you do a mother blessing ritual it can include a shared feast with foods symbolic of healthy growth – or just foods that make you feel good!

4. Some people choose to eat their placentas for the nutritional benefits and assistance in preventing postpartum depression.  If you do so, you can also make a ritual of eating it.

5. Make a ceremony of your baby’s beginning transition to solid foods.  Selina points out that, “The Hindus do a rite called Annaprasana for the baby’s first solid food. Offerings are made to the gods and it is considered that any impurities the baby may have taken in if the mother consumed impure food during the pregnancy are removed. The first food is generally rice offered in the presence of a priest, or family members.”

Also, check out this recent New York Times article on mindful eating.  It ends with a list of simple ideas for bringing ritual awareness to your meals.

Have you tried any of these rituals?  What others ways do you make your eating sacred during the childbearing year?

Food is the product of the earth; the earth is a mother goddess, literally the matrix of our physical existence. We are all products of the stars: earth, animals, plants; all the elements were forged in the reactions in the heart of stars. We are what we eat, so it is important to eat healthily & well. –Yvonne Aburrow

In Part 1 on Eating and Spirituality I talked about getting started incorporating food into your spiritual life during pregnancy.  I also had the pleasure of introducing Selina Rifkin who graciously answered many of my questions on the subject. This week I want to go a little further into why Pagans should give attention to food.

If we follow Pagan paths of celebrating and honoring our bodies, then nourishing those bodies makes sense.  It’s especially important to feed our bodies well during pregnancy because, as Selina says, “The long term-health of the baby is dependent on the nutrients she receives while in her mother’s womb.”

In addition to the question of what goes into our bodies, there is the question of what goes into making the food in the first place.  Our babies, our physical bodies, our foods, and our natural environment are all interconnected.   Selina says,

We care about the health of the planet. Industrial agriculture has a huge negative impact on the health of the planet. First there is the constant spraying of chemicals and the over-use of fertilizers. The chemicals sterilize the soil and the fertilizers cause dead zones in coastal areas all over the world. Second, is mono-cropping and the use of GMOs. Mono-cropping destroys biodiversity and GMOs are just plain dangerous. The companies that make them have no idea – or are in complete denial – of the effect they are having. Third, how the industrial system produces animal foods is cruel, as well as being unhealthy. There is a spiritual disconnect between how we nourish our bodies and our souls. If we care about the well-being of all life, then mindlessly eating meat from animals raised in factory farms is spiritual necrosis.

So we should take what steps we can to reintegrate that spiritual disconnect and see ourselves in relationship to the production of our foods.

Finally, attention to eating shouldn’t just be about worrying over chemicals in our food or the effects of mono-cropping; it should also be delicious.  When “all acts of love and pleasure are [Her] rituals” then when we can take pleasure in eating yummy, lovingly prepared food that nourishes our bodies (I know this isn’t always possible in pregnancy; sometimes nausea and food aversions leave us feeling lucky if we can choke down any food at all).

The meal itself, consumed with pleasure, becomes a celebration of the Goddess.  So if your developing baby is asking you to indulge in a great meal, grab a fork, and eat up!

Next week I’ll continue this series with some more specific ideas on how to incorporate food into the spiritual practice of pregnancy.

On top of all that, Pagans who celebrate their physical bodies and their connection to the natural world may also have ritual and theological questions about food.  Selina Rifkin, who writes about paganism, food, and spirituality at Cauldron to Kitchen told me that Pagans should care about what we eat because, “As an earth-based religious practice, being embodied is a celebration. But when we are not healthy, it is harder to feel celebratory.”

If treating eating as part of your spiritual life is new to you, getting started might be overwhelming.  Selina has a few simple suggestions:

Pay attention to what you eat and when. Are you eating out of habit? Emotion? Eat because you are hungry and honor your food. Learn how to cook if you don’t know. That is a skill all adult humans need. You don’t have to be a gourmet, but you should be able to make yourself real food from scratch, that you enjoy eating. Find out where your food comes from. Talk to the person who produces it if possible. Make the connection between what you eat and how you feel. Be in your body when you eat. Treat your food as sacred. Our ancestors recognized that food becomes part of us. It is who we are, part of our identities.

If you want to go deeper into the topic with Selina, starting next week she will be teaching an open enrollment course at Cherry Hill Seminary on Sacred Nourishment.

We’ll also be exploring some topics specific to childbearing and food in the coming weeks here at Pagan Families.  What topics would you like to see addressed?

I admit I am completely intrigued by the idea of shamanic midwifery. Jane Hardwicke Collings, an Australian, has forged this path, combining traditional midwifery with shamanic concepts and work with the Divine Feminine. She trains other women, midwives and doulas, in this process, which, from her websites, is more of a set interpersonal skills and mindset, than an actual magical system.

I was sent the e-book version of Collings’s book on preparing for natural childbirth, as this book may be of interest to our readers here at Pagan Families. For those that loved Ina May Gaskin’s Spiritual Midwifery this book will be a welcome companion. Collings places absolute trust in the female body to birth healthy babies, she trusts the birth process implicitly, and she advocates for a return to embracing the sacredness of birth. The entire book is a reminder to women to really listen, and listen deeply, to our bodies and our intuition. Personally, I agree with this need to listen, from a spiritual perspective but also from a feminist perspective, recognizing that our society does not encourage anyone to listen to their bodies, much less women’s reproductive cycles. Collings has a lot to say about the need to embrace not just pregnancy and childbirth, but menarche (the onset of menstruation) as well. She believes that listening helps us endure pain. I agree that the overculture tells us that pain is bad and should be avoided. Those of us interested in natural birth know that pain is information, the pain slows us down and, as Collings reminds us, forces us to focus on the work of birth.

In addition to agreeing with a lot of her philosophy on birth, I loved all of the questions sprinkled through the book. Collings has several lists of questions that an expectant mother should ask herself – things related to the birth experience explicitly and things about her own past and feelings about her body. Collings also has a variety of rituals and suggestions for new and expectant mothers, such as the birthing way and the naming ceremony, that help foster community and mark out birth as a sacred rite of passage.

While this book comes from a Pagan perspective, its language is not so partisan that a woman from another faith tradition couldn’t get a lot out of it. I think any woman with a belief in birth as sacred and perhaps a more liberal spiritual viewpoint (a concept of the Feminine Divine is almost always associated with the more liberal strains in every tradition) will find this book welcoming.

For all of those positives I don’t recommend book this solely on its own, nor as the first book to read for a first time mother. There are a few tonal and theological flaws that rub me the wrong way. The first is the strong sense of gender essentialism in the first part of the book. Yes, only women can bear children, and it is a profound and unique experience. I trust the female body to birth. But I find phrases such as birth is “a process that the female body is built for” and discussions of the right hemisphere of the brain being “feminine…. non-rational, metaphoric, intuitive” and the left brain as “masculine” very unhelpful and more than a bit alienating for those that don’t fit typical gender expressions – or for those whose female bodies can’t bear children.

Collings breaks up women’s lives into four phases: Maiden (0 to birth), Mother (childbirth to menopause), Maga (menopause to retirement), and Crone (retirement to death), outlined on page 10. This is particularly problematic as the entirety of a woman’s life is defined by her fertility. What of those women who aren’t fertile? Who choose not to bear children? What of the 30 year old cancer survivor who enters early menopause? The mention of retirement also smacks of economic privilege, as many women in the world do not have the luxury of stopping paid work. What of the women who never engaged in paid work to begin with? Perhaps I am making too much of this essentialism as this is a book about the bearing of children, but creating systems that lay claim to defining women’s mysteries based on fertility seems a little narrow-minded.

Another, more personal, issue with the book are the statements that we have the births we believe we will have. Early in the book (page 5) Collings says, “As with all normal bodily functions, birth can be influenced by the thoughts, beliefs, and fears created by your mind, as well as your health.” I think it is hard to argue with this. But more sweeping statements about how every birth is the birth we need and create with our beliefs feels awfully cold and smacks of bad theology.

This point is rather personal for me. My first child was born premature and spent the first month of his life in the NICU. I was in excellent health, practiced daily meditation, and believed implicitly in the strength of my body and its ability to birth naturally. I had a midwife and a supportive partner. But for whatever reason (no medical reason was ever diagnosed) my son came early. I was able to have a rather easy and enjoyable birth, given the circumstances, and I learned a lot from the experience. But the idea that my family somehow “needed” that experience and that my beliefs somehow encouraged a preterm birth smacks of a misguided belief in spiritual healing. Seeing as how she also mentions the Law of Attraction in two places I am not sure her theology is sound.

Collings’s enthusiasm for women and natural birth is clear throughout this book. Her voice is forceful and encouraging, which I quite like. However, there is one place where I felt this tone took an antagonistic turn. In her chapter on “So-called High Risk Birthing” which covers VBAC, breech and twin births she lays out all the reasons these births are typically done in hospitals, their risks, and questions a woman in these situations can use to gain more information from her care-provider. Collings acknowledges that many midwives and OBs aren’t trained anymore to deliver in these situations. She encourages home birth in these situations and takes a rather manipulative turn when she says “You won’t make a friend of your obstetrician if you go against his or her recommendation. Would you rather be told that you’re a good girl or know that you are a powerful woman?” (pg 65)

Minor annoyances in the book were the lack of firm editing and a strange organization, for example at the end of an early chapter Collings reprints an entire newsletter from an organization she belongs to. Her history of childbirth jumps centuries and makes sweeping statements. Some of these editing and formatting issues may be due to the e-book format; I’ve not seen a hard copy to compare it to.

While I have strong opinions on some of the philosophical and theological components of the book, I still think this could be a beneficial and welcome book for the more experienced mother or doula. With beautiful, intimate pictures of pregnant and birthing women, suggestions for healthy eating, recipes for labor tea, and lists of helpful questions and rituals, I think there is much to be gained from reading this book.

For more information you can check out the following sites:

Jane Hardwicke Collings’s personal blog

School of Shamanic Midwifery

School of Shamanic Midwifery Blog

Buy the book here – available in e-book format

by Kira Nuit

Growing up Catholic, I’ve prayed a rosary or thirty. The experience is meditative and calming. Buddhism, Hinduism and Islam also have rituals involving beads. Beads may have been among the earliest ornaments created by humans. Their colors please the eye; their textures and weight please the hands; their soft clicks please the ears.

During the inescapably visceral experience of pregnancy I felt fully connected to my body for the first time. It seemed the perfect opportunity to try switching my approach to the world: instead of thinking  or studying first, I let my burgeoning body teach me to feel and experience before analyzing. I was delighted to incorporate more of the physical into my spiritual practices. Prayer beads became one of my favorite tools.

I have strung beads before, but with these I intended to create an heirloom. I wanted the beads to be made sturdily and professionally. I turned to the artist and witch behind Green Woman Crafts and commissioned exactly what I wanted. She made me a gorgeous set of 108 beads of lapis and pearl. This worked out to be nine sets of ten with nine spacers, and a tail of eight beads with a centerpiece.

I didn’t want the beads relegated for use only during my more formal, sit-before-the-altar daily practices. I wanted to use them frequently – waiting in line, riding in the car, sitting through my prenatal appointments, etc. So even though I had a lot I could have said while praying for my unborn baby, I kept it simple. I started by praying to the Star Goddess on the center bead. Then I worked my way up the tail, asking Her to bless my child. For the next seven sets of beads I said, “Powers of  [X], bless my child,” replacing X with the name of each element. I prayed to the Holy Mother on each of the spacer beads. For the last two sets of beads, I asked the Ancestors and Gods of my people to bless my child.

I had terrible nightmares about losing the pregnancy, and the beads became a talisman for my baby’s health: if I could pray for her, I knew that I was using all of my energies to keep her growing and safe. Sometimes I wore them as a necklace, under my clothes. I held them while I labored at home. I prayed the beads while laboring at the hospital. When it became clear that my labor could not continue naturally, I handed the beads to my mother. She went to the chapel and used them in her own way, adding her own energies to them, while doctors rescued my daughter from my body. Later, in the recovery room, I held the beads again and thanked all of the Powers for my baby safe and beautiful in my arms.

When my daughter is older — perhaps when she’s pregnant for the first time, perhaps sooner; I’ll know the right moment — I will give them to her. Until then, I still use those beads to pray for her well-being.

To make beads of your own, begin with your intention in mind. Let that intention inform the number of beads you might choose: for complex prayers, perhaps a string of fewer beads is wise; for simple mantras, the repetition of many beads is key. Consider utilizing a favorite sacred number to decide how many beads to string. Choose beads that delight the senses. Any bead shop will have a dizzying array of choices; allow the colors and shapes that resonate with your personal symbolism to guide you. (I chose blue and white for my colors to evoke the water of the womb and the soft beauty of the pearl growing inside.)

For more ideas, I’ve seen this book (but have not read it): Pagan Prayer Beads by John Michael Greer.  Raven Kaldera offers a workshop on the subject. Reclaiming witch Donald Engstrom-Reese wrote a great article that informed my thinking on the matter.

Kira Nuit is a writer, geek, textile artist, witch and mother. She strives to build a simple and fulfilling life that integrates all her parts — which includes figuring out how to provide excellent care for her toddling daughter while also bathing regularly. She writes about it at Earth Mama Prime.

The report says “Women may prefer a home birth over a hospital birth for a variety of reasons, including a desire for a low-intervention birth in a familiar environment surrounded by family and friends, and cultural or religious concerns.”

We don’t know how many Pagans choose home birth, but we do know that Pagans are highly likely to prefer unmedicated births attended by midwives.

Depending on where you live, you may be able to get that kind of birth at a birth center or a hospital, but it is certainly the norm for home births.

According to the CDC report, “In 2009, 62% of home births were attended by midwives: 19% by certified nurse midwives and 43% by other midwives (such as certified professional midwives or direct-entry midwives). Among hospital births, only 7% were attended by midwives.”

Did you plan a home birth?  Was it motivated by Paganism or did you have other reasons?